Just believe

By Lloyd Luna

Dear Mr. Lloyd,

I read your column last Sunday and it was fascinating. Your words have touched me and made me realize some important lessons I should have learned earlier in my life. I want to resign but I'm afraid if that's going to be fine. My present work isn't what I really wanted. I hope you can help me. Thanks a lot and more power to your column!

Michaela Rodriguez
Quezon City

Dear Michaela,

Thank you for the compliment. It's good news you already know what you don't want. But here's better than that: You should know what you want. Knowing what you don't want will not help you go to where you want to be simply because our mind doesn't read “not.” So the first key is to know what you want.

Many people who have listened to my seminars have asked me almost similar question such as yours: How do I know what I want? Well, the usual answer I give is, “You would know it when your work has become a joy and no longer a sacrifice for you.” I can't really answer the question inasmuch as I'd like to. Our desire is too personal that only our inner self can figure it out.

In several cases I've known since I started conducting business seminars, personal development workshops, and leadership lectures here in the Philippines, I observed that there are a great number of people who confuse their “what they want to achieve” from “what they can achieve.” And there's an interesting thin line between the two. I'm sure though that “what you want to achieve” will make you happy and fulfilled.

When we talk about what we can, we are talking about limitation. We simply don't talk about the desire of our heart. We talk about our skills and capacity-activities that we can do, places that we can explore, people that we can meet, foods that we can eat, things that we can buy. All of these are subject to our capacity as “workers.”

On the other hand, “what we want to achieve” means unlimited potential-without any limit. We talk about our desire regardless of what we can do as a human being. That desire can be turned into a reality if proper philosophy and activities are done. At this point, we thinking about activities and experience that we want, places that we want to explore, people that we want to meet, foods that we want to eat, things that we want to buy-regardless of it's possibility. All of these are subject to our personal desire.

In my personal case, it has been two years or so when I last fell in love. Because I became too stiff and too inconsiderate about love after I got into a traumatic one, I wasn't able to see clearly the thin line between what I wanted and what I can. And so, the following days, months, years, I was dating and none of my dates became my girlfriend.

But I realized that I was looking for what I can have, setting some standards and working very hard to satisfy them. As a result, what I achieved was what I can. It was until I redefined my “what will make me happy” that I turned it around.

Beginning this year, I prayed to God that “this is what I want.” So, in a post-it, I wrote the name of one person that I thought I'd like to be with regardless of who she is. I posted it in my DreamBoard together with my “engagement ring.” I believe that I she's who I want. I started to unconsciously work on it, just being fluid on every conversation.

The result is I got who I want, and I love who I got.

You need to know what you really want and do away with any of the things that you don't want because certainly it can only help you a little. As I wrote in my best-selling book Is There A Job Waiting For You?, “Believing that something can be done is half the price of its possibility.” Now, I'd like you to believe in whatever it is that you want, that your heart desires and start to work on it. Just like what I did.

And who says you can't have what you want when you're perfectly on it?

Value your dreams,

BIG