Stop Becoming A People-Pleaser

Chinkee Tan
Chinkee Tan

Are you the type of person who,

Gives way to others, all the time?

Spends more time making other people happy, more than yourself?

Finds it almost impossible to refuse requests from others?

Gets stressed over what other people may say about you?

If your answer is ‘yes” then you are most likely a “PEOPLE-PLEASER”.

I, too, was like that when I was in high school. I remember my classmates would always ask me to do things for them, and I would oblige so that they will be happy with me and I can belong to their group. So I fully understand why there are people who need to pretend in front of others, who are willing to do anything even if it is already against their will, just to satisfy what other people want.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that we should not strive to make the people around us happy. Making people happy and doing favors for them are actually good traits, BUT if it comes to the point where doing these things stifles our own freedom and happiness, then this is when it becomes wrong.

How can it be wrong? What are the negative effects on me?


    When your ultimate goal is to please people, then you give up your own free will. Most of the time, people-pleasers are caught in between deciding what they want to do for themselves and what others are asking them to do, but they end up doing the latter.

    You end up always giving in to the needs of others over your own. In the end, you get shortchanged because you put more value on the reactions on others over your own welfare.

    For example:

    Your friends want to go shopping but you don’t want to because your allowance is limited and you don’t want to waste it. But because you don’t want to disappoint