How to Deal with a Rude Person

Chinkee Tan
Chinkee Tan

Do you know of someone who is rude?

Someone who embarrasses you in front of others.

Someone who shouts at you as if you don’t have any rights.

Sadly, there are people like these who exist. They are offensive whether in words or action. They think you are worthless and will shove it in your face. They will insult and malign you face-to-face or behind your back.

But before I share the tips on how to deal with a rude person, let me share some possible reasons why they are this way.

First on my list is, maybe this is a…


Perhaps this is what they have been exposed to growing up. They hear insulting words every day; they see offensive actions every day. Maybe this is what they have even experienced in their own life. So this may be a normal thing for them; to offend, to embarrass, to shout, to insult.

They have become obnoxious because of the role model at home.

Or maybe they have been…


It may be possible that because of a lot of terrible life experiences, they are now generally frustrated with life and want to just let it all out. So they let it out to other people. Frustrated people want to make other people feel frustrated too. They want both sympathy and empathy.

They don’t want to go through their disappointment alone. They don’t want a pity-party for one.

They want others to join in.

Perhaps, they may also feel ENVIOUS of others as a result of the negative things they’ve been through.

They are so bitter with their own life, so when they see others succeeding they can’t take it! Envy is a powerful poison that will destroy a person. It can transform any person into the HULK and destroy everything in its path.

Before you get affected or influenced by this kind of person, here are some practical tips on how to deal with someone who is rude.



Find out WHY this person is always angry, always hyper, always wanting to start trouble. I can assure you that there is a root cause.

I always say, “Hurting people tend to hurt other people.”

So now that you know this, don’t retaliate with the same attitude.

If someone says something offensive, then tell that person in a VERY GENTLE TONE, “Friend, may I know why you said that, so I can understand where you are coming from?”

It is so easy to ASSUME that he has something against you, but it is wiser to first know the ROOT CAUSE of his attitude.

And when you approach that person…


If we give in to our emotions, we are going to have World War III on our doorstep, and the more he or she will become rude to you.

Stick to the issue, not the person. Major on the majors, not on the minors. If you allow your emotions to set in, you lose. Trust me on this!

You can use the sandwich approach. POSITIVE – NEGATIVE – POSITIVE.

If the person is so angry because of an unfinished project, then you might want to tell her, “I appreciate your dedication and commitment to this project. I am very sorry that there has been a delay. I know that this has to be finished soon. I suggest we relax and talk about this in a calm manner so that we can find better solutions. I am sure we can finish this on time.”

In this way, you are already HELPING that person to calm down.

And most importantly, you need to …


It doesn’t really matter who or how many people will tell that person that he or she has a rude attitude, the truth is they cannot change on their own.

We, too, have our bad days. This is when you know that what you are about to do is wrong, and yet you still do it. It is the SAME thing with a person who is rude.

The ONLY ONE who can really and completely change them, and us, is GOD, because He is ALL-POWERFUL and a God of TRANSFORMATION.

So pray for that rude and offensive person in your life. Surrender him/her to the Lord, along with all the hurt that you feel because of the things he/she said or did to you. Keep on doing this, and you will just be surprised that one day that rude person will be a testament of God’s MIRACLE.


Is there someone who is very rude to you?

How do you handle that person?

Have you prayed for him or her?

To get more encouragements, please visit my YouTube Channel at visionchinkee.

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Chinkee Tan is a top Filipino motivational speaker, wealth and life coach whose goal is to inform, educate, motivate, and disturb. His vision is to help people become financially-literate and debt-free. For more info about Chinkee Tan, please visit his fan page at FB, Twitter and Instagram. Also follow VIBER PUBLIC CHAT GROUP search chinkee tan, and VISIONCHINKEE on You Tube for more news and encouragements.