Why Are There People Who Just Don’t Care?

Chinkee Tan
Chinkee Tan

Do you know of people who seem so numb and calloused?

These are the kinds of people who don’t care about anyone or anything around them because in their own picture, there is no one more important than their own selves.

Sometimes, do you also find yourself not caring about other people, their emotion, or about the things happening around you? Or do you have friends who are like this? Friends who seem to live on their own and for their own selves.

They are the type who, after everything that has happened, are just “NR” – no reaction.

For example:

A husband and a wife are having an argument. One of them starts to cry, while the other one walks out and watched TV.

A person is on a bus, and sees an old lady carrying many things. Instead of letting the old lady sit down, this person pretended to be asleep.

A mother is sick, and her son, instead of taking care of her, chose to spend the night at a birthday party of a friend.

These are examples of emotional numbness, wherein one’s emotions are disconnected from the reality that is happening. This can take place because a person deliberately chose to build a wall or create an emotional distance for whatever reason.

People who are emotionally numb don’t react or respond to situations, or they choose to remain so uninvolved in an issue or a conflict.

Hold on, may I ask – do you find yourself judging these kinds of people? Have you ever wondered why they are like this? Have you ever tried to understand where such people are coming from?

So why is it that there are people who are numb and seemingly calloused? Let’s dig deeper.


No reason! Just plain lazy! No initiative, doesn’t care about others. There are people who just care about what’s happening if he or she will benefit from it. Do you know of people who are like this?


Any traumatising event can possibly lead to emotional numbness. How? If you have been hurt before, or if you have gone through something unpleasant, you don’t want for that experience to happen again, right?

It’s because of trauma that you may feel that everything that is happening to you that has the slightest hint of resemblance to a negative event will again cause you pain. And this is why here you are, avoiding it all, at all cost, saying, “I know how this will end! I will only get hurt!”


Maybe because of too much pressure from your family, spouse, or work, you just want to let go and disappear. You don’t want to struggle anymore to think or to look for answers.

It feels like you are just so tired of everything that is happening.

The sad thing is, people resort to alcoholism, gambling, or even drugs as solution to their problems. They think that doing these things will help them forget their problems. Remember, these things – alcohol, gambling, drugs – these are all wrong and temporary. You can just give yourself a break so that you can re-charge, and think straight. And then, just bounce back!


Losing a loved one can cause so much pain. Maybe because you don’t want to talk about it, hear about it, or remember it, you just try to avoid it by not saying anything and by being numb about it.

You will know if a person is grieving when this person’s way of being numb or calloused is by giving you a silent treatment. Maybe there’s so many things happening around you, and yet, this person is just in one corner, crying and just staring blankly. Whenever you talk to this person, he or she doesn’t seem to pay any attention.


This can be caused by a lot of things, and can also lead to emotional numbness. A person may be numb because of the following:

He or she feels useless
He or she feels isolated from a family or a group
There was a sudden change because of an unexpected event

These people are so emotionally down, such that when you talk to them, they tend to raise their voices just to prove to the people around them that they are okay, and that there is nothing to worry about, even if they are going through something very deep and difficult. This is what you call defense mechanism.


What about you? Do you sometimes find yourself becoming numb because of the people around you? Or do you intentionally try to make yourself numb?

What is the reason why you are choosing to remain passive?

In what way can you get up from all of this and change this?


If I may ask, do you also have the habit of finding fault in other people?

What can you do to avoid this?

What can you do to be able to first offer help to others than immediately focus on their weaknesses and faults?

(Chinkee Tan is a top Filipino motivational speaker, wealth and life coach whose goal is to inform, educate, motivate, and disturb. His vision is to help people become financially-literate and debt-free. For more info about Chinkee Tan, please visit his fan page at FB, Twitter and Instagram. Also follow VIBER PUBLIC CHAT GROUP search chinkee tan, and VISIONCHINKEE on You Tube for more news and encouragements.)

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The Good News Pilipinas Team is a group of Filipino journalists who advocate putting more good news stories about the Philippines and Filipinos on the media.