Do you consider your spouse as your teammate or as your opponent?
Is there division in your family – team husband vs. team wife?
There are instances when divisions inevitably arise between spouses. An example of this instance is when your brother asks you if he can borrow money from you so that he can put up his own business. You are completely fine with it, but your spouse does not agree with it.
In moments like that, regardless of what you choose to do, conflict will surely arise. If you push through with a decision that your spouse doesn’t agree with, you will hurt your spouse. If you don’t push through with the decision and side with your spouse, it’s likely that your spouse and your brother would get into a conflict.
But the question is, to whom does your loyalty belong?
Remember than the moment that you said “I do” was that same moment that you said goodbye to your old team (your parents and siblings) and said hello to your new team (your spouse and children).
Of course, this isn’t to say that you will disregard your parents and siblings because you already got married. Your parents are still your parents, and your siblings are still your siblings even after you get married – this will not to change. But you need to understand that your priorities have already changed now that you’re already married. Your priority, next to God, is your spouse, and then your children.
So for those moments that you need to make a crucial decision, always consider what is best for your current team. Why?
TOGETHER YOU STAND, DIVIDED YOU FALL
All of your decisions will either help or hinder the growth of your relationship with your family – that is, your spouse and your children. When you make a wrong decision, it will not only be you who will face the consequences – your family will have to experience the fall that comes with the mistake that you made. And when you make a right decision, you, together with your spouse and children, will benefit from it.
Also remember that…
YOUR SPOUSE DOESN’T COMPETE WITH YOU, BUT COMPLEMENTS YOU
Whether or not we admit it, we have weaknesses. And most of the time, our weaknesses are our spouse’s strength.
It’s true. And this is exactly why God made you to be husband and wife – not so that you can compete with each other, but so you can complement each other.
Isn’t it that it’s much better for a team to have members with different strengths? What if you and your spouse both have the strength of handling finances, and both of your weaknesses is in cooking or management of the home? Or what if both of you are great cooks, but both of you have no organisational skills? How do you think will that look like? Do you think that kind of set-up will work out?
Always remember that you and your spouse are a team.
You are not from different teams, but you are part of the same team.
THINK. REFLECT. APPLY.
Is your loyalty with your spouse?
Do you appreciate that your spouse complements you?
What other things can you do to your spouse to improve your family as a team?
(Chinkee Tan is a top Filipino motivational speaker, wealth and life coach whose goal is to inform, educate, motivate, and disturb. His vision is to help people become financially-literate and debt-free. For more info about Chinkee Tan, please visit his fan page at FB, Twitter and Instagram. Also follow VIBER PUBLIC CHAT GROUP search chinkee tan, and VISIONCHINKEE on You Tube for more news and encouragements.)