What Should You Do If You And Your Spouse Are Becoming Sarcastic To Each Other?

Chinkee Tan
Chinkee Tan

Every time you would talk, there seems to be a competition on how to outsmart the other person.

Are you tired of this kind of scene?

You miss those moments when you were so close and so sweet to one another. You used to feel so restless whenever you’re not with your spouse. But because of misunderstandings and unresolved issues, there are now a lot of negative emotions in your marriage that haven’t been settled. As a result, you seem to be immune to each other, and it has gotten to the point wherein you are already sarcastic to one another.

This doesn’t have to be the case. Did you know that you can return the sweetness between you and your spouse?

So what should you do when you are already becoming sarcastic to one another?


Actions speak louder than words, but don’t forget that words are also important and powerful.

And the manner by which you speak is equally important. Let the situation cool off a little. Don’t force your spouse to talk to you if he or she is still not ready.

Believe me. Been there, done that. I’ve experienced this already.


You are not competing with each other. You are not fighting each other from two opposite teams. Yes, there will be some things that you will not agree on. In fact, you will not agree on a lot of things. But this is a given, considering that you and your spouse are both unique. And if no one is strong enough to accept each other’s uniqueness, nothing positive can ever come out of your marriage. What you need to do is to raise the white flag – that is, to avoid retaliating. Avoid giving sarcastic remarks.

Raising the white flag doesn’t mean that you are giving up. This only means that you are giving way to a relationship that is full of love and understanding. How? If your spouse is best known for his or her sarcastic remarks, and you are able to hold back from saying equally sarcastic remarks, your spouse will take notice of that. He or she may not take note right away, but he or she will definitely realize one day how loving and understanding you are.

And if there’s one way to win back your spouse’s loving remarks, or love, for that matter, it is to humble yourself by raising the white flag – not as a sign of giving up, but as a sign of giving way to a marriage that is full of love and understanding.

There is another way. And this is a sure one.   


The “normal” thing that we do when our spouse says something offensive is to retaliate. For a lot of people, this is something that is acceptable or reasonable, as a form of revenge. But doing so will not bring positive results in your marriage. So what will bring positive results? Give not what is expected, but give what is unexpected. Instead of taking revenge, do something that your spouse considers unexpected.

Did your spouse just give you a sarcastic remark? To do the unexpected is to avoid responding with a sarcastic remark. To do something that is even more unexpected is to give a loving remark in response.

Saying your sincerest SORRY is another great example of giving what is unexpected.  Saying your sincerest “I LOVE YOU” is another.

It will not cost you your humanity if you will do something to bring back the love that was momentarily forgotten in your marriage. You and your spouse are a team. If both of you will not do anything to bring a positive change in your marriage, don’t expect anybody else to do it for you.


If you and your spouse have become sarcastic to each other, it’s time that you step back and do the following:

Avoid giving equally sarcastic remarks.

Instead, give a loving remark.

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Chinkee Tan is a top Filipino motivational speaker, wealth and life coach whose goal is to inform, educate, motivate, and disturb. His vision is to help people become financially-literate and debt-free. For more info about Chinkee Tan, please visit his fan page at FB, Twitter and Instagram. Also follow VIBER PUBLIC CHAT GROUP search chinkee tan, and VISIONCHINKEE on You Tube for more news and encouragements.